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I am a techno-phobe. I panic at the thought of having to do something new involving IT. So this lock-down situation, where IT is the only way to use Emotional Logic to help people, is challenging me to the core because I really do want to continue using my EL skills to help people.
Today I had my first personal learning appointment (PLA) using Zoom. I needed some resources available to use with my client so I decided to do a card pattern for myself about this situation. What were my emotions saying? Then I completed a loss reaction worksheet. What potential losses were driving these emotions?
My cards pattern started with Shock. I was definitely doubting my resources but overlapping it was Guilt, my old favourite. It did feel like my fault for being such a duffer in this area! And I know that Shock and Guilt together feel like shame. Oh dear!
Next came Denial, telling me to shelve it for now but that will not work for long as I have to start the PLA in one hour. However, I do have time to make a cup of tea. That is a safe place to help me think.
Then came a Bargaining idea! I will make my husband Trevor a cup of tea too and ask him to help me set up the Zoom. I put ‘irritated’ feelings card at the end. I wonder what that was about? That suggests some Anger, perhaps because I have to learn all this new stuff at my age…
I was able to name several hidden losses; ‘being self-sufficient’, ‘being in control’, ‘able to learn quickly’ and both ‘my time’ and ‘Trevor’s time’. Then there was ‘self-worth’. I know that if I can successfully Bargain on one small thing, other areas will also move. I decided to Bargain on being in control by preparing as much as possible in advance and practising. Yes, it did take both my time and Trevor’s but by the end of the PLA, when the learner said how helpful it had been, the emotion for those small losses moved into Acceptance.
Next time, I know I will need reminding about the process, but it will be easier and one day I will be proficient. Meanwhile I can still be helpful. Oh, I also seem to have recovered my self-worth.